Humor
Psychiatric Hotline Telephone Menu
"Hello. Welcome to the PSYCHIATRIC HOTLINE.
"If you are OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE, please press 1 -- repeatedly.
"If you are CO-DEPENDENT, please have someone press 2 for you!
"If you have MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES, please press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
"If you are PARANOID-DELUSIONAL we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace your call. We'll come and get you!
"If you are SCHIZOPHRENIC, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
"If you are PSYCHOTIC, stab button 8. It deserves it.
"If you are ANOREXIC, press 9. If the line is busy, have a little snack while you wait."