Humor Index

Humor

Tooth Fairy Form Letter

Dear _______________:

Thank you for leaving one (01) tooth under your pillow last night.

While we make every attempt to leave a monetary reward in the case of lost or stolen children's teeth, we were unable to process your request for the following reason(s) indicated below:

___ the tooth could not be found

___ it was not a human tooth

___ we do not think that pieces of chicken bone are very funny

___ we were unable to approach the tooth due to excessive odor

___ the tooth had previously been redeemed for cash

___ the tooth fairy does not process fingernails

___ your request has been forwarded to the Nerve Ending Fairy for appropriate action

___ you were overheard to state that you do not believe in the Tooth Fairy

___ you were age 12 or older at the time your request was received

___ the tooth is still in your mouth

___ the tooth was guarded by a vicious fairy-eating dog at the time of our visit

___ no night light was on at the time of our visit

___ the snacks provided for the tooth fairy were not satisfactory, or were missing

___ we discovered evidence of unsafe tooth extraction, as follows:

___ string attached
___ plier marks
___ gunpowder residue
___ hammer marks
___ chisel marks
___ part of skull still attached to tooth
___ no dental care evident
other: _____________

Instead of the usual cash redemption, we have provided acertificate which you may attempt to redeem at a retail store near you.

Thank you for your request, and we look forward to serving you again in the future.

Sincerely,
Tooth Fairy Redemption Department